My story really starts in the beginning, way before I was born, but that’s a later topic. I’ll start with the usual, my entrance to this world. I was born with a genetic condition known as pyloric stenosis and nearly died from it. I became ill when I was less than 2 weeks old and I wasn’t diagnosed and operated on until I was 2 months old.
I nearly starved to death because the pyloric sphincter muscle (below the stomach) wouldn’t let the milk go down into the intestines. Instead I suffered with projectile vomiting after the milk had soured in my stomach. The doctors didn’t know the cause, idiopathic, but claimed it was genetic. My daughter also had pyloric stenosis and had surgery within just days of becoming ill.
Way back when, when I was born….the doctors in Georgia had told my parents that only “first born males get pyloric stenosis” and they sent me home to die. I was dying, I was starving. I lost so much weight my parents thought they best be prepared for the worst. Two months later my parents took me to my uncle’s funeral home, in North Carolina, to prepare for my funeral. He said, “she looks worse than the dead babies I work on.” He sent us immediately over to a pediatrician that he knew and respected. The nurse recognized the olive shaped muscle spasm rolling across my belly when she took off my diaper. My surgery was on Friday, the 13th. That’s my lucky day. You can tell I’m not superstitious.
From the time I was ten days old until I had surgery at the age of two months old I couldn’t eat. Little if any milk made it through my digestive system. I was existing off the little bit of fat my tiny newborn body had. My microbiome never developed properly in those critical first few weeks and months of life. My digestion has been an issue all of my life, but doctors answered no when I asked them if there was a connection to my current illness. I think all chronic disease starts with a problem in the digestive system.
It wasn’t until decades later when going through an intensive nutritient supplementation regime for my lack of B6, did I start having dream recall. A lack of B6 will manifest as poor dream recall. I often wondered if I dreamt, I never remembered anything. After a couple of weeks on P5P, the bioavailable form of B6, I also had more long term memories that surfaced. Not all of them were nice. I remember the fear I had when the curtains in my nursery blew in the breeze. The fluttering fabric would send me into shrieks of terror. My mother would rush into my room only to find nothing amiss. She had no idea what was wrong. I didn’t understand why my mother got so mad at me. I was so scared.
The drapes were like that of the drapes in the hospital. When doctors and nurses entered my room I remember their shapes coming through the curtains, emerging as if from nowhere. They hurt me really bad and I was scared they would hurt me again.
I did some research and what I found horrified me. This is the stuff they don’t want you or me to know. They used to operate on babies under the age of two years old without anethesia. You heard me right. They didn’t use anethesia on babies until the 1980s. They did surgery for pyloric stenosis and also heart surgery on infants without anesthesia or anything to eliminate the pain. Instead they used drugs to paralyze the baby, so that it couldn’t move or even cry out in pain. The trauma was horrific. But they didn’t think babies felt pain. They counted on us not remembering either. Wrong…on both accounts.
Now you see why I don’t like doctors. You can understand WHY I do so much research. I don’t trust them. Can you blame me? I know you won’t believe me so I’ve included a link to a Washington Post article and a New York Times article about this very subject. I’ve also included a link to a list of links regarding this subject. You can find the links on the show notes.
Joseph suffered many setbacks in his life, being sold into slavery by his brothers, being framed as a rapist by Potiphar’s wife and being forgotten by the cupbearer after he interpreted his dream. While God didn’t cause these bad experiences, he allowed them. Joseph understood that God was using these experiences to prepare him for an important assignment one day. When I experience a setback, I go to my Bible and learn more of what God is trying to teach me. I am humbled by the fate of Joseph and the trials of Job. I hope that by having this perspective, that one day all my suffering will be used for the good, to glorify God. I pray for those that have hurt me. I pray that they will find mercy on others and not perpetuate the same pain on others that they had caused me. I find hope in my tomorrow. I pray that one day there will be no pain or suffering.
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. – Genesis 50:20
Healing from trauma isn’t easy. It’s even harder if you don’t even realize the trauma existed. Experiences in early childhood can easily be repressed. The details may not be remembered but the effects can be felt for decades before being acknowledged. I’ve found that listening to classical music relieves some of the stress of the trauma. Schumann’s Träumerei, Debussy’s Clair de Lune, Chopin’s Nocturne, all are very calming music that helps to sooth frayed nerves. Music has helped me to heal.
The Schumann Resonances are a set of spectrum peaks in the extremely low frequency (ELF) portion of the earth’s electromagnetic field, these pulses are the heartbeat rhythms of the planet. Schumann Resonances are heard in nature, the sounds of the birds, the wind in the trees and the sound of water. The pulses resonate at 7.83 Hz the same as the earth’s frequency. This range of low frequency is commonly produced in the human brain, when relaxed in alpha or theta states.
111 hz – Endorphins release
90 hz – Endorphins release, sense of good feeling, sense of security, sense of well being
7.83 hz – responsible for charging the body with energy, immune system functioning, good mood, creativity and it also matches the frequency of the globe.
Learn to meditate, spend time in God’s word. Spend time in nature. Learn to relax. Maybe let classical music help you through these especially sensitive times in your life. Music therapy reaches us somewhere inside where nothing else can. Music can touch us in a special way. Did you know that music written in a minor key is more apt to increase the feelings of sadness in an individual who is predisposed to depression? On the opposite note, pun intended, listening to music written in a major key with a upbeat tempo can lift a person’s mood. Next time you’re feeling a little bluesy, try listening to some Mozart, known for his uplifting cadances. You never know….try it, you might like it.